A Classic (Things my Mother Taught me)

* My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
* My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
* TIME TRAVEL " If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
* LOGIC " Because I said so, that's why."
*MORE LOGIC " If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
* FORESIGHT "Make sure you wear clean underwear, incase you're in an accident."
* IRONY " Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
* OSMOSIS " Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
* CONTORTIONISM " Will you look at that dirt at the back of your neck?"
* STAMINA " You'll sit there until all those peas are gone."
* WEATHER " This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
* HYPOCRISY" If I told you once, I've told you million times. So, don't exaggerate."
* CIRLCLE OF LIFE " I brought you out into this world , and I can't take you out."
* BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION " Stop acting like your father."
* ENVY " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
* ANTICIPATION " Just wait until we get home."
* RECEIVING " You are going to get it when you get home."
* MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
* HUMOR "When that lawn mower cuts your toes, don't come running to me."
* HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT " If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
* GENITICS " You're just like your father."
* ROOTS " Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
* WISDOM " When you get to my age, you'll understand."
* JUSTICE " One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

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